Saturday, January 24, 2015

The fine art of blowing up the new year!

©Holly DeWolf 

New Years is a good time to clear the slate. If there's no change then it's business as usual and for many of us that does not sound like we are progressing. But we are often resistant. We trudge along hoping the usual things will suddenly get better and change on their on. 

"Suffering usually relates to wanting things to be different from the way they are.” -Allan Lokos

I think there is something very fitting in blowing up the new year. Fireworks and champagne corks aside (even though both are great), I'm talking about blowing up routines. To be more specific, destroying and redesigning our comfort zones.

January is moving along at a fast pace as it usually does. I've already accomplished at exploding many things. In true human fashion, I almost chickened out a couple of times, I wavered, I swerved, I questioned my ideas and I felt nervous about the outcome. I talked myself out of it and then back into again then finally set out to do what had to be done. 

Talk about a long process! 

Ahhh, but I was reminded this is a 40 something response. And supposedly this is what your supposed to do at this point in life. But I think there is a big difference. It's not a freak out, a bug out, or a melt down per se. It's what they call that 40's style confidence, instead.  

It goes something like this: We now know how to make our own decisions. Our gut knows more than we do so we listen better. Our flaws and mistakes are actually assets. We know the power behind asking for what we want. We take no shit but we cannot hide from our feelings either. We know what's right. We know who we are so we've done this and done that and we will do more. Being in the middle means we can stay the course or change the creative program. We do not owe anyone any explanations about who we are. 

There's safety in sandwiches. I love that expression because I always get a "huh" and "what does that mean" type response. Being in the middle is not so bad. It's neither hot nor cold. It's warm. It's neither old or young. It's the middle stage. To make it visual, it's the creamy peanut butter and jam filling!  

This year I'd like to shake up my schedule, my routines, habits, and not be too comfortable while doing this and that and doing more. 

I really never imagined as kid that it would take so long to get things done as an adult. I never saw the whole picture back then-just the end results from very busy big people. Clearly, as an adult life and work is still a mysterious process that has no end. It helps to have reminders to help along the ride. 

1. Opposites are so attractive. 
I'm starting to be believe Seinfeld was onto something during the episode when George discovers doing the opposite gets him what he wants. What a surprise! Conclusion: our fears can be jerks! 

2. You're gut is your guide! 
It's good to say no but do you notice we talk ourselves out of yes's and agree to annoying things because we feel politely obligated? Conclusion: Saying yes lets you try new things. Saying no saves your brain and saves you so much time. 

3. No more excuses! 
Excuses are so habit forming that often we forget we're doing it. Conclusion: Making excuses is not a virus but they often spread like one. Pay attention to what your avoiding.  

4. Keep your bull-shit filter on at all times.
As we grow and learn we can spot nonsense a mile away and that is a good thing and a bad thing. Conclusion: know the difference but filter it because there no end to the madness.

5. Expectations can fool us. 
Life throws many curve balls and veers us off track daily, monthly and yearly. 
Conclusion: have a plan but allow room for the random stuff too. 

6. We are all winging it! 
Let's call all this this mess making experiments. Conclusion: we're all amateurs but the good news is, we can do it confidently! 

7. Negotiation is learned. 
As a freelancer this is a regular challenge that comes with time. It's not about winning all the time, it's not a fight and it's never perfect. Conclusion: eventually it becomes mutual meeting of the minds where both parties need to get something out of the deal. Freelancing after all is about building relationships and not about taking the money and running back to the studio.  

8. Evaluate the rules.
We impose rules on ourselves that we've learned growing up and from day to day living. Conclusion: Deviating from the rules opens up the hand of thought. 

9. Time moves REALLy fast! 
Really really pay attention to how you use time and how much time your wasting each day. Conclusion: decide what is work time and what is downtime. Resting and relaxing is not wasteful but playing Mario cart for 4 hours could be. 

10. Daydreams and distractions are good!  
Really pay attention to where your mind goes when you daydream. Conclusion: focus on what your brain is telling you. It says more than you think!

11. People are not really paying attention as much as you thought. 
People do not notice mistakes, downsides, or if you haven't posted on twitter for 5 days. Conclusion: MUM was right. We blow up our mistakes larger than they are, not everyone else!  

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